tHejOyfULcOmPliCaTiOn

i've moved on.

From this life, filled with voyeurs, nasty tongues and illogical interference.
Goodbye kaypoh people who don't really care. :) Thanks for being the wonderful audience.

bye blog.

life isn't really that complicated.

part 2 belongs elsewhere:)

posted by jOy @ 12:28 AM 0 comments

turning into something you never thought you'd become
nothing is worth it anymore
nothing is precious
nothing is a treasure

Played too many times,
you begin to play
Crushed too many times,
you begin to crush
Betrayed too many times,

you just do likewise

And you feel there's
nothing. wrong.

void of conscience, void of feelings

Humans become senseless, worthless things

And nothing's changed, and nothing will.

This is you.

posted by jOy @ 9:10 PM 0 comments

Unwritten

I am unwritten, Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Unwritten

posted by jOy @ 11:40 PM 0 comments

I have a whirlpool of thoughts regarding this.

i dont knw whether to sympathize, say orbi or what.

If i sympathize,the answer is, you asked for it.
If i say orbi, the answer is, you deserve more than what u're getting now.

So i dont know. I just choose to smile.
Because, I have nothing to do with it now.
I just bought a ticket, to enjoy the show from far.

posted by jOy @ 4:02 AM 0 comments

im sick and everything has stopped moving.

Why can't i even get to enjoy the last few days of my holidays before school calls me up and im gona be round the clock busy again !!

bah!

I really dont know what happened. All i rmb was ive been to the doctor countless times, sent to A&E and recieved a call from Chris (i think) about me being suicidal on my entry and then i really dun knw what happened. i was drugged.

Seriously, for the LAST TIME

my blog DOES NOT reflect my true/current state of being. Firstly, it's stupidity on my part to reveal it via the internet and secondly, it mentions only about a few seconds in moment of time.

So IF im going to hear anymore overly concerned people complaining about my entires, i am going to shut down this site. For real. and open a new one u guys dont knw about!

Yay! goodbye!

okay i want to go out nw, bt i cant... screw u stupid diesease i have no idea about!!!
ROAR!

posted by jOy @ 6:38 PM 0 comments

shit. has been the core of my life of recent.

Lol. i think its quite funny. like im running in a rain of shit.

But yeah, like fariz said. We just gotta use that shit and make it work for us.

We both sat and looked back, knowing that the world changed so much over the past 5 years for us. And the ticket to get where we are right nw, is shit.

If you havent been through shit, you're not part of us.

You may have seen it, but you have not experienced it.
You wont understand the exact script running in our heads.
You probably wont get why and how we do things.

From your perspective, it may look like we're ruining our lives. It may look like we're too dumb to look into the future. It may look like we're thinking and running the short term.

Fact is, these things have been through our heads way before yours. Just that you dont understand the intensity of shit that we've been through, resulting in this current state.

Have you ever felt your world collapse. seriously. im not talking about oh no my boyfriend broke up with me. not just that man. not even oh no i failed a paper.

It's when there's no logic that resides in you any longer. the state of devastation whereby you dont even know if the world is real. i am not talking like this because i am some emo punk. it is actually a real psychological state.

Have any of you cut yourself, not becos u want attention. But as a natural reaction?
Have any of you completely lost control, and stormed screamed threw things around. it came so naturally, u didnt even have to think whether or not it was right, truth is, you couldnt. not becos you felt like it. it was never yourself, but it just. happened.

The ticket is shit.

It gets you into a reformed life. Can be good can be bad. But a whole lot brighter world. You wont be playing the innocent one anymore, probably the ones playing the innocent.

sometimes, you just got to play.

posted by jOy @ 2:00 AM 0 comments

there's so much shit thrown at me recently, the moment i landed in Singapore. Non-stop. Like spamming. Many sources, all just directed at me. like really. thanks alot. The Singapore i came home to, was just different.

i am currently led by the repulsion of human kind.

Specifically with regards to the issue of trust and betrayal.

I have been forced to swallow shit since it begun and still forced to, will have to, while the other end is just lala-ing away and enjoying at the cost of me. me swallowing shit.

You knw wht, i do have every right and perogative and reason to feel that way. I dont feel sorry for how i feel. Yes no grudge, no hatred, bt dont any of you dare tell me feelings will go away. It wont, not so fast.

A broken glass can be fixed, but it should not have been broken in the first place.

I feel my life specialization will be on betrayal and forgiveness.

Honestly, it is much easier to leave. Walk out. Cos i need the space and i need to breathe.
Im trying to start a new life, but people aren't allowing me.

It's no longer about him, it's about them.

they've sufficed the threat, at the cost of my life. You gain one, you'll lose the other.

period.

posted by jOy @ 2:36 AM 0 comments